O the critic

I've finally gotten my first customer reviews. There's something about the positive feedback that's so totally intoxicating. The first was from my dad, which means something to me. But with all of them, whether posted or not, I love hearing good reviews. I love how it helps me to quiet the inner critic in me that keeps telling me that I'm not good enough, that I have too much to learn, that I'll never make it. I know that when I read reviews of other books where readers seem to resonate with the author I tend to get more out of reading those books. It helps me to see what they enjoyed and got out of it. I know that it takes a fair amount of effort to write a review so I extremely thankful to those that have done that for me.

I'm also excited about receiving the more critical responses, that help keep me more grounded and guide me to know what it is that I need to work on so that I can reach my goals. I know that I have a lot still to learn about writing, so I'm glad to get a better idea on where to focus my efforts in improving.

One of the reasons that I love the title, "Discipulus Secretus," is because it forces this book to be more hidden, more of a discovery. It also tends to put readers into more of defensive position so that their not as likely to wonder into it unprepared. I don't want people to be disappointed once they pick up this book. I know it's bound to happen. I don't know of an author that has had universal and unanimous love by all readers. But it's still sad to find out that someone didn't like it for what ever reason.

I know that most readers come to a book rooting for the author's success. There might be some that look instinctively for all of the flaws, but I think on the whole they come hoping for the best. So when that trust is broken, it's heart breaking for me as an author. Yet, I'm glad to hear what they have to say, so that I can get better. I'm glad to find the most important ways in which I can improve as an author. The fact that it also warns other potential readers is a mixed blessing because I don't want others to come and be disappointed by what they find. If I could learn to write in such a way that everyone could universally love my writing that, of course, would be ideal. And I don't mind as much living in a fantasy world (believing that this is possible) because, hey, I'm an author and fictional worlds are what I love to live in.