Understanding me

One of the things that interests me most about story telling is that every interaction between people can be considered a "story:" real or fictional, long or short, expressed or felt. And a really good story can bring teller and listener closer together, it can incite revolution, or it can calm raging wars. A really good story is capable of doing anything and is only limited by the imagination of those involved.

In trying to understand what makes a good story, I've come to realize how personal and at the same time how universal this can be. From the universal stand point a good story needs a good hook, the better the hook the more compelling it is to dive into and forget everything else that might try and pull you away from the story. The story then needs to hold the "listeners" attention. Very much like the hooks, the hold needs to persuade the "listener" over and over again how important it is to follow the story all the way through to the end. And then there has to be a payoff at the end. The "storyteller" has to deliver on his/her promises that the "ride" was well worth the "price of admission".

Yet for each of those, (hook, hold, and payoff) what makes them compelling is individual. Each person can have very different goals for their life, how and where they find entertainment, and how each element of their life provide fulfillment and enrich their lives to make them more than they would have otherwise been. Some of these individual characteristics can be categorized, like if they are just drifting though life without any real or solid goals or if they are strongly compelled to some very specific goals. Other characteristics can be much more individualized like a strong affinity for purple and pink dragons with social personality disorders which compel them to try and please those less likely to be accepting.

In order for me to become as incredibly successful as I would love to be I realize that I have to have passion, drive, and determination. The more lofty ones goals are the less likely they are to be obtained without a huge amount of dedication. Fortunately for me, I am rather extremely good at making myself into whatever I want to become (if I do say so myself). Unfortunately for me, this is only half of what is needed (at best). The other half or more that I need to succeed is determined by how well I understand my "listeners." What complicates this even more is how little each person really understands them selves and can convey it if merely asked. I like how well Malcolm Gladwell is able to explain this.

As I explore deeper into myself I realize that there are some stories that I'm not interested in. There are some stories that I just think I'm not interested in until I really look and see what the story is about. There are stories that I think I'm interested in, but leave me feeling empty and betrayed once I've followed them. And there are some stories that captivate me from the beginning and pull me through in ways that I would have never expected and bring me to places that I long to return to again and again.

I think that the better I get to understand others, the better I understand myself. Hopefully through this process I to can learn to create the types of compelling stories that for now I can only dream of, not only in the fictional novels I hope to create but in each magical interaction I have with those around me.

The Disney Conspiracy

While I call it the "Disney Conspiracy" it is really a "Hollywood" thing. The saddest part, though, is it is our children that are the victims. With each Disney child star that falls victim in a massive public breakdown a question should be asked, "Why did this happen?" Or more importantly, "Why does this happen over and over again?"

Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll. While Disney might not really be to blame (each person has a responsibility to act for themselves) perhaps Disney should be more concerned with the image they are creating for themselves. From alcohol, meth, and other addictions that have destroyed careers and ruined lives in front of millions of disappointed fans, why haven't we learned from anyone's mistakes? And while addictions and eating disorders are a problem, they aren't as worrisome as the idolization of body parts.

As 11-facts-about-teen-pregnancy points out about 1/3 of all American girls will get pregnant before the age of 20. The 2013 US census also showed that 62% of new moms in their early 20s are unmarried. With 70 percent of the juvenile detention filled with children from broken homes, and 63 percent of teen suicides. There is a good reason for concern, especially since I have my own daughter to try and rise among such negative influence and keep safe.

So why blame Disney, or Hollywood, for this problem? It's because of the reason behind "Disney girls gone bad." And the message is simple, "You need to grow up." Unfortunately it is the misconception behind what it means to grow up that many teens loose their way, and Disney teens in particular.

Smoking is a good illustration of how these misconceptions are applied. Since the dangers of smoking are so much more greater than then its benefits it is very rare that any adult (over 20) starts smoking who has never done it before. Interestingly enough the peer pressure applied to youth to get them to smoke is to stop being a baby, or that they are old enough to make their own decisions. Most people who started smoking as a child fight hard as adults to break free from its addictive influences. Similarly Disney stars are similarly feel pressured to "grow up" in order to get new roles or just to fit in with the Hollywood party life.

As the father, it saddens me that such influences exist that teach that such behavior is "grown up." Jackson Kratz talks about how deplorable it is the way in which boy's are "taught" to be "men" in our society. As a father, worried about the world my children are growing up in, I want to tell America that it's time to grow up, get your head out of the gutter.

So while throwing around the word "conspiracy" is fun for me. I think it is important for each of us to be those crazy prophets standing on the wall, or in public places, trying to raise concern in those that walk so casually by. Whether it is a "conspiracy" or "the end is coming" or more simply "wake up," perhaps there is something to the message, and it shouldn't just be ignored.

Children need to know that they are of such infinite worth and potential, and know how thoroughly these kinds of influences can take that away from them. So many dreams are killed in the slums of Detroit where the only kinds of messages they hear are of drugs and sex. And the problems we as a culture cultivate there don't stop just by moving to Ann Arbor, or wherever, to get away. The can only be stopped in the way we choose to brainwash our children and help them to save their future.

Illuminati and banking

In 1972 Gary Allen wrote a book "None Dare Call it Conspiracy." It sold over five million copies and showed how powerful financial leaders such as Rockefeller, Carnegie, and Morgan bought the US presidency for McKinley. None of them were all that secretive in the way in which they spent their money on his behalf. Voters knew that big business was behind McKinley, and the election was fairly close considering the huge amount of money that went into McKinley's campaign.

J.P. Morgan was a financial tycoon that had learned from instruction received from the Rothschild family which his father knew personally. The Rothschild’s where a Jewish family in Germany that controlled the fate of nations through their vast wealth and the primary reason that Hitler blamed Jews and so many Germans believed him. Jewish banking was a part of history long before the Rothschild’s had taken it to new heights. In Italy it was more like getting a lone from the Mafia, asking for money from the bankers (who at that time got their name because of the banks, or tables that they did business at). And in order to insure they were repaid the Jews in that business had to use Mafia-like techniques.

Tracing banking back even further however we get to the Templar’s, a well-known connection to Illuminati, and not surprisingly banking. With "banking" came wealth and power.

Now tracing that forward to today. While Jews and bankers together form a strong backbone to the democratic party, it is not to say that the democratic party is anymore completely run by Illuminati than is the republican party. But one question that might be important to ask is, "Why isn't fiscal responsibility important to a party that has such a large banking backbone?" Perhaps the answer is already apparent to you. "Who stands to gain from America's debt?"

One of the "secret" laws in banking about debt is, "they who knows earns it and they who don't pays it." So then is it any wonder that an education system largely set up by Rockefeller, Carnegie, and Morgan conspicuously omit the training of personal finance. Big money is to be made in the ruin of others. One then can easily trace Illuminati power, for the "love of money is the root of all evil." Well perhaps not fully, no more than "power corrupts."

You might wonder how can I have a blog posting without trying to convince you to join my conspiracy. While it might be possible, it's not going to happen this time. But "conspiracy" you might ask, isn't that working together at the expense of someone else? True, but as Abraham Lincoln pointed out the freeing of slaves took place at the expense of the slaveholders. While the freedom to have slaves was protected by the United States up until that time, the freedom of the slaves to be that as equal   has been prized since that time.

We have an opportunity and a responsibility to stand up and stand together against the oppressive Illuminati (which doesn't have to actually be anything more than an idea). Just the strength of pulling together has tremendous power to overcome. So despite the fact that conspiracy exists in religion, I'm hoping that not only Jews and Mormons join me but also Catholics and Muslims (obviously I should start with those more well known for their conspiracies -- I'm pretty sure that those of each of those faiths know how much I love them) and everyone else who can believe in me. Together we can make it a better world.

The Bold Truth

With all of the blame being thrown around for government failure, and one of the biggest examples of that failure being Detroit and it's dramatic fall. Detroit once had the highest per-capata income in the nation and now it's condition might be compared to the depths of hell itself. Unfortunately for us, the biggest threat is that the rest of the nation now threatens to follow.

There might be some black people, or hispanic people, or other ethnic group that blame white people, and similarly white people will blame whoever they can. Democrats blame Republicans, Republicans blame Democrats. Those that have will defend ferociously what they have from those that want to take it from them. Why would anyone expect it to be any differently? And since those that want easily outnumber those that have, what else can one can be expected except for total depletion of wealth? Destruction has to be eminent in such a world.

Of course the Illuminati are to blame. The great house of Rothschild personally taught Cornelius Vanderbuilt and J.P. Morgan that, "The time to build is when there is blood in the streets." Once you look closely you'll see that the powerful bankers have build from this blood even when it's their own that gushed (just as in the past financial crisis that nearly crippled the world).  Is it any wonder then that they  (The Illuminati) delight in the blood and chaos that they can create.  Even when those that don't have power want blood and destruction, it's easy enough to come by. And since vast fortunes can be amassed through it, it is little wonder that disaster looms over the horizon.

But is the situation hopeless? As the world's foremost expert on Savants, one of the worlds most secret conspiracies and one that offers resistance against the Illuminati, I offer hope. The U.S. Constitution was written by the people, for the people. If the government fails it is because we have failed. Illuminati, those that "have," CAOS, etc. do not have any power that we as people don't give them.

Public school systems are a failure, especially if they are what you rely on for your education. The most important things that can be learned, can't be taught in that environment because it can't be measured. It is the "life lessons" or choice skills that happen in the heart, not the head that matter most.

The point of it all is, of course, personal accountability. Once you are ready to accept this, you can join my conspiracy to take back control of the government from the evil Illuminati. And we don't have to stop there, we can free the world from its evil grasp and win this war for the people.

Study again the U.S. Constitution and how this government was founded and feel of its power. See if it does not give you chills -- a thrill of excitement and pride. Once you feel and understand the minds and hearts of those revolutionaries, think of what you yourself can do to build upon that power. Perhaps you might think, "Are the words I'm spreading helping to divide an already cracking nation, or are they words of LOVE designed to repair damaged bonds, build and strengthen a weakened nation." Or perhaps you're doing nothing, which by its very nature is not helping the situation. Maybe you think there is nothing you can do, in which case the constitution has failed (at least for you). Those founding fathers had faith in you, don't let them down.

Hunger Games and You

"Hunger Games" is real and you are living in the capital. There are conspiracies underway: one of which will destroy your way of life, the other to keep you from having to worry about it. What would you do? Would you ignore such rumors, the people around you are so frivolous they never talk about things of real value anyway? Would you help crush the rebellion that threatens the very lively hood that your life depends on? Or would you risk your life to help people you barely know and in the process ruin your life as well as the lives of your family and friends?

I think this sounds like an incredibly exciting story. Unfortunately edits are going rather slowly, it's taking me one heck of a long time to learn how to write well. But I can easily see now why there are so terribly many mediocre books. Learning how to rise up above that is also an incredible story, with one heck of a lot of boring details.

Perhaps if I posted a lot of political propaganda showing the trivial nature of our "Capital" and all that goes on to distract us from the real problems. There are problems of people starving, struggling for any sort of livelihood, people dying that you personally could help, if you only knew that you could help. Or perhaps if I shocked you in other ways, I could grab your attention, make you sit down and listen (or read). And if I did, could I then say that I've made a difference. While that might be the kind of book I'd like to write, I would also like to make it accessible -- something everyone could read. I don't know if that would make more of impact or not.

But even if it didn't make more of an impact, if it sold incredibly well then I could use that money to make a difference (if I knew how). If I could learn how to spend my money so that I'm not just another self-centered citizen of this "Capital" I imagine exists.

Help me. Be my co-conspirators in changing this world of ours. Help me on this crusade, this jihad, not to conquer those of differing beliefs, but rather embrace them. Let us join the world, bind it together, seal it up in love. It's an amazing dream, but I think that as I learn to communicate better, I might be better positioned to achieve that outlandish goal.

I think I might be learning something ...

After reading and thoroughly enjoying Brandon Sanderson’s The Way of Kings, I was excited to find out that the classes he taught last year at BYU are available on line at http://www.writeaboutdragons.com/brandon_w2012/.

While listening to his lectures I realized I’ve missed out on some of the basics that one learns if they actually study English and writing. For example, I didn’t realize that a world mired by conspiracies was part of my setting. I knew that the Minnesota, the mall of America, and Nevis were parts of my setting but I had thought conspiracy was part of the plot. This of course made my plot (a girl searching for the truth about her mother’s death and what happens when she finds out) a lot more complicated than it needed to be (in terms of a keeping it straight in my own head as well as for the readers, as to what is happening and why). They’re still intricately connected, and thus not easily separated. But if I think of it in terms of:

Character: Sarah, an impatient, strong willed girl

Plot: Girl searches for the truth about her mother’s death

Setting: World of “supernatural” power mired in conspiracy

And the story is how all of those interact, and is of course excitingly complicated. But now making the conflict that arises from those interactions into scenes is much simpler and hopefully easier to follow. And recognizing Sarah’s progression through the complicated maze of all the problems that arise from having to live in that world I created for her should be a lot easier for the readers as well.

So hopefully those of you that bought the “limited first edition” of my book don’t feel cheated that the story is going to be so much better in the next release (and hopefully it is a lot better), because it’s always been an incredibly exciting story in my head. And maybe if I finally get good enough at sharing the story it will become so wonderful for everyone else that those “limited first editions” will become quite valuable.

And for those of you that haven’t bought this “limited first edition,” I highly doubt that I’ve sold enough that those that have bought it are worried about you devaluing their investment by also buying a copy. So if you’re worried about having missed out on this tremendous opportunity, and of course you should be, you can still buy a copy (and I’ll still even autograph it for free).

Backyard Dystopia

With Hunger Games and Divergent the popularization of dystopian stories has grown. I think the biggest reason for this is that heroes tend to standout much more in climates where there is more demand. Can you imagine for example the Lord of the Rings story if there wasn’t such pressing need for the heroic journey: the ring wasn’t actually evil and just needed to be returned to a good neighbor just down the street who’s pleased to see that his ring was found and returned?

In my story the dystopia isn’t as distant as those stories. While still a fictional story, Sarah discovers that hidden just under the surface of everyday life things aren’t nearly as pleasant as they pretend to be. The thing I really like about that is that in real life it doesn’t take that much effort to see real suffering that happens all around us. There exists in real life a real dystopia, a need for real heroes. I would like my book to be the kind of book that helps readers to feel inspired to face their problems, become the heroes that a real world needs.

I realize that my book isn’t quite where I wanted it. As I work with my editors on improving that, I hope that those have bought it already are happy to hear that it’s getting even better. One of the first problems that have been pointed out to me is that a little more motivation is needed to convince Sarah to look into the Illuminati and Savants. So I’m adding the following:

Sarah reached absentmindedly under her bed for the box that held pictures of her mother. As she pulled it out and looked at it she remembered why she had hid it away. It was too painful; she couldn’t keep doing this to herself. Though she wanted to keep her mother’s memory, she was afraid the nightmares of her mother’s death would never end.

No, even though it wasn’t a nightmare she had last night, she didn’t want to open the box right now. She knelt down to find a better hiding spot for the box, and started sliding it back under her bed. That was when she noticed a piece of paper poking out of the plastic, flower patterned wrapping. She slowly pulled back out the tin box of pictures.

It looked like it was a note card hidden on the outside of the box. She pulled on the corner, dragging it from under the thin plastic wrapping. It looked like her mother’s handwriting on it. There was a drawing of a pentagram – Sarah’s birthmark. Under the pentagram were the questions, “Why did the Pythagoreans find this symbol so important? Why did so many diverse and unconnected cultures find it important?”

And then later, when she finds that it’s not a note card but rather a piece of paper so warn and tightly folded that it was tough to see that it could be unfolded, she finds another clue that leads her to look into Illuminati and Savants. Thus she and the reader are more carefully lead to the hidden dystopia of my imaginary world.

It’s a conspiracy, I tell you

The term "conspiracy theory," since the mid-1960s it has acquired a somewhat derogatory meaning, implying a paranoid tendency to see the influence of some malign covert agency in events. The term is sometimes used to automatically dismiss claims that are deemed ridiculous, misconceived, paranoid, unfounded, outlandish or irrational. Once the conspiracy is proven, such as the when the United States President Richard Nixon and his aides conspired to cover up Watergate, is usually referred to as something else, such as investigative journalism or historical analysis.

A conspiracy is an agreement between two or more persons to commit a crime, or do something harmful, at some time in the future. Perhaps it is because conspiracies are so common that people tend to disregard the term. Or maybe it is because the word harmful can be rationalized away too easily that instead of conspiracy it might be justified as “strategic” positioning.

The fact that smoking isn’t illegal even though it is well known and documented as harmful is one interesting conspiracy. And since the term conspiracy is so obviously fitting in this case, it’s interesting that with all of the government conspiracies attributed to the great hippy era this was probably one of their least concerns. It’s also interesting that this was the era in which “conspiracy theories” had such a large peak and then acquired such derogatory connotation.

I obviously have a vested interest in the regain in popularity of “conspiracy theories” since that might improve sales of my book. So as an interesting side note, my working with others to produce such a book might also be considered a conspiracy. This is interesting in part because, even though secrecy is generally inferred from the term conspiracy, it is actually not an essential part. The only essential part is “harm,” which of course I don’t intend. But if my book were to become so incredibly popular that large numbers of people were to suddenly be unable to do anything other than focus on it and me, this could accidentally cause some harm. – Suddenly mailmen aren’t delivering mail, teachers and students aren’t going to class, and the entire workforce suddenly doesn’t show up to complete their jobs. And I wouldn't really have a hard time or get all that upset if such a thing were to happen. But I think I can justify the problem as also being the solution, because nobody would really notice except for those people who refuse to appreciate my book like everyone else.

So in short, conspiracies are real, but you don’t really need to worry about my conspiracy to bring the world to stop while everyone admires my brilliance.

Crowded and lonely superheroes

I think it's interesting how lonely it can be on Facebook at times. It's not just there. That feeling of loneliness in the midst of a crowed, even a large group of friends, can be particularly poignant. I think that feeling is universal, that we all feel it from time to time, and probably more so in America and western culture then elsewhere. I think that we learn not to share it because it frequently doesn’t help and tends to alienate us from others who might withdraw because of how uncomfortable it makes them feel.

In writing my first novel, I figured that in no point in life is that more particularly true than in high school. I write about a teen age girl that searches for answers surrounding her mother’s suspicious death. And as she feels the weight of high school life, I have one of her older brothers tell her that everyone is crushed by the system churning out people of equivalent abilities. That with so much focus on standardized testing individuality is frequently sacrificed.

I think that sometime the reason we feel so isolated from others is because each of us is so unique that sometimes it’s hard to feel understood. And thus we all suffer, and even in that suffering we are unique – we don’t suffer uniformly and equally, some suffer far more than others.

I find it fun to attribute that suffering to conspiracy. And I think it’s true that many companies advertise to enhance that suffering to sell you that one product that will change it all for you.  And when that product fails there are thousands of others yet to be tried. From diet plans and shampoo to alcohol (sex, drugs, and rock and roll), somehow it’s all advertised to make your life more happy and pleasant.

I think it’s also fun to attribute to that conspiracy the hidden truth that they’re all trying to keep from you – that you don’t need any of that, or even anyone else. You’re happiness is up to you. But in this I think that you do need others. Because I think the truest happiness comes from finding how to use your unique ability to help those around you. If it’s in music, art, poetry, or in making exercise actually fun – I just mention those because it seems like their more frequently lost from schools than math, science, and engineering (which can also be used creatively to limit human suffering, but is rarely taught with that in mind.)

I also think it’s fun to treat the idea that we each have supper human abilities as a secret. Unfortunately I think it’s far too true and we all have a hard time finding out how amazing we really are. I think that as we realize how we can lift and help those around us we unlock some of that supper human within us. There is so much that each of us are capable of, it’s a shame that so much of that remains hidden (a secret, yet to be found).

Fa-Vill-Aw

I could see the intensity in her eyes and knew this was important to her. Her hands on each side of my face to make sure I had her undivided attention, she raised her voice a little louder. "Fa-Vill-Aw"

I knew laughing wasn't the response she wanted. Her brow creased even further in determination and frustration, her dark brown eyes wide and enegetic, and her nose now less than an inch from mine. I just couldn't help it; she's just so cute. And just seeing that determination to make me understand her, I couldn’t stop smiling. "I'm sorry, Jasmine," I responded, "but just saying it louder doesn't help me understand any better what you're asking for."

"FA-VILL-AW"

My mind raced. What on earth could she be asking for? Sometimes she still used "bla-la-la" even though she knew how to say "milk" and "bottle". She was still a month away from being two-years-old and her vocabulary was actually quite remarkable considering her age. "Bla-la-la" was how she first asked for a bottle and we knew what she was asking for every time she said it, which must have made it seem like as good a word as any. But "Fa-vill-aw" was new, at least as far as I could remember.

"Fa-Vill-Aw." She wasn't going to relent until I finally understood what she was talking about.

We had been watching videos of her on my phone. I thought it was interesting the fascination she had with watching herself dance, play the drums or harmonica, do somersaults, or go down the slide. It must have been something like an out-of body experience for her to see those things from the third person perspective and still know and remember that it was her that went through all of those actions. She watched them over and over and over again.

"FA-VILL-AW" -- Finally it clicked in my head what she must be talking about, and I laughed with relief and understanding. It was a different video that she wanted to see of herself and she couldn't find it on her own and wanted my help. Her brother had a battery powered four-wheeler that she liked to ride, and that was the video that she wanted to see.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XgT0NQJ4540

Winning ecstatic sales

I’ve heard that there are three types of sales:

1)      Soft sales: where the person might pay for the product after they’ve seen it and know that it meets their needs.

2)      Hard sales: where the person will pay up front for the product because their fairly certain in advance that it’s probably alright and worth the risk.

3)      Ecstatic sales: where the person loves everything you’ve ever done and wants everything you can sale them and is clamoring for more.

I figure that there is nothing that exemplifies this ideal of the “ecstatic sale” more than with writing. Whether you call it brand name recognition or the “Harry Potter” phenomenon, it’s an elusive ideal worthy of all the effort it takes to reach that lofty goal.

I recently went to a writing convention where one of the authors that spoke talked about how you can’t think of being an author as a hobby. He joked that when people say to him that they want to take off for the summer and write a book he’d respond with, “Yeah, I was thinking of taking the summer off to become a neural surgeon.” The point being, that when you create a book that you want others to read, it’s got to be professionally done. If the author bypasses traditionally publishing because it’s too much work to go through all of the editing and revision stages, then the book is really just good for one reader alone, and that’s the author.

On the flip side of this however, of the approximately 1% of people that get accepted by a publisher and get a book published, the average income is about $3,000. This means that even for those that are published it’s not likely that being an author is more than just a hobby. Perhaps this is the fault of the publishing industry. Perhaps the reason for so many inadequate books that get published is because of an inadequate model.

I’ve realized that before I want to do anymore marketing of my book, I still have to improve the writing inside – which means for me paying for copy editing. Having come from a science/engineering background where my communication skills and knowledge of the English language is still quite limited, in order to give my book a more professional feel I have to pay someone that knows what they’re doing. Even as I learn more spelling and grammar rules, I imagine I’ll still need someone who can professionally look through my work and make sure I didn’t mess up. My brain is just too amazingly good at filling in details that it wants to see as opposed to what is actually there.

I think the path to getting ecstatic sales also includes holding back on other promotional methods until the quality of the product does match the standard that you want to reach. Once a bad review is out there it will limit the potential audience. On the other hand each critical review offers the potential for improvements that can be made to insure that people are ecstatic about what you have to offer.

Hopefully someday I’ll be able to make a career out of this, it’s certainly exciting enough that I can imagine enjoying creating entire universes and tour guides through them on a full time basis.  And hopefully I eventually learn how to better encourage others to share more of their ideas with me on how we can accomplish such lofty goals.

Life is in the details.

A good friend of mine and excellent photographer has taken the challenge to take at least one picture every day. She’s done it for a couple of years now and has talked about some days it’s a challenge. It’s interesting the new perspective one gets by changing the angle, distance, lighting, dwell, etc.

For me writing is like that. Looking at people, the way look, dress, and interact, trying to understand how each sees at the world. Also trying to understand what level of detail in my writing will trigger a vivid image and how much is overkill or not enough is an exciting challenge. I think the generic term of “write tight” is supposed to capture all of that. It’s interesting to me how that while it might sound like it means “write less” actually in many cases means “write more.”

“Write tight” conveys the information that the reader doesn’t understand why what they read is important. If it really isn’t important, it definitely should be chopped. If it is important it should be tied together well. Unfortunately, knowing the art and balance of all of this is very tricky. Each person reading my story comes to it with such a wide variety of backgrounds that tying it to something that’s important to them is sometimes hard to understand.

I think making it personal is the key. I don’t think this necessarily means write in first person. What I think this means is, “get to know people!” I think a lot of writers are introverts. This is probably because we tend to look at the world a little differently. We may be a bit weird that way. So having people look at us awkwardly does make it tough get out there. But now having embraced my own individuality, and trying not to be too overbearing (or perhaps” overwhelming” is more accurate) it is incredibly fun getting to know people.

I’m so excited about all of the new friends I get to make.

Falling in love with literature ...

Perhaps I'm as far from normal as one gets with respect to love of literature. It wasn't until I dove in head first and tried to understand everything about it that I gained my deep appreciation for writing. Perhaps it was because I never felt like I was any good at reading that I tended to stay away. I still read at a painfully slow rate, which becomes more frustrating as I discover so many more things that I would love to read.

I think that we're all scientists, adventurers, and explorers at heart. It’s so incredibly exciting finding new treasures that make your mind soar through the eternities or dive into the deepest abyss. It feels so strange to be finally waking up to the realization of all that is out there. It’s like I’m running around saying, “Why didn’t anyone tell me amazing this all is?” and you’re all like, “What? You didn’t know?”

As I was contemplating writing this blog, I came across this: Through the Mists of Time: Falling in love with literature. And I realize that now that I understand a little better and love so much more every aspect of sharing these amazing adventures with others that I have a much better appreciation for all of the mechanics of writing and how magical a word, a sentence, or a phrase can be.

But I don’t think that we need to look to schools to do a better job of teaching this, I think each of us as we discover the passion within ourselves can help pass that torch along. Hopefully I’m getting better at sharing this love and excitement with my kids.

Worries over laziness...

It seems to me that the current publishing trend in the US is that readers want immediate excitement, and easy read. With all of the things that books are competing against that require so much less of the person, many in the book industry think that books need to follow that path to compete. I disagree. One of the things that I like most about books is that it does require something from me; I get to use my mind. I don’t think I’m alone there. I also think that those who haven’t found this love of “discovery through effort” would miss out tremendously if we switch the focus of reading to pander to them as opposed to encouraging them.

That being said, I’m still inherently lazy. I still have to fight with myself to do more, to be more. When I make choices in the evening between reading something incredible and watching something mediocre at best on TV, I still far too frequently choose TV. It’s just so much easier to sit down and not think.

So to create a book that tells a story in a way that not only competes with the TV, for example, but changes minds, helps the readers to discover more about themselves then they themselves knew was there is amazingly challenging. I often think that I took on too much by trying to write a series that tries to capture it all. I know that I can’t expect any reader to make the extra effort in reading, just because I was too lazy to write better. I may still have inadvertently done just that, not because I didn’t want to put in the extra effort, but rather just because I didn’t know any better. I could only write to the best of my ability at the time, but I’d love to learn how to do it even better.

So if in reading my book, you think of ideas of what I could do better, or parts that get bogged down or slow please to worry about sharing that with me. I’m anxious to improve.

courage to follow your own course of action ...

"Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising that tempt you to believe your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it requires courage." Ralph Waldo Emerson

I think that really describes pig-headed stubbornness. Or maybe it’s just a little too simplistic. One should frequently adjust their course of action. I’m certainly not perfect, and as I learn more I can apply that knowledge to improve my course of action.

I may still be quite pig-headed, but hopefully I’m doing a better job of learning from what others. It’s quite a delicate process to know when to “stick to your guns,” so to speak, and how to find the truth in what others have to say (especially when it contradicts strongly held beliefs).

I’m certain that as a person gains more knowledge and intelligence through diligence, obedience, and hard work he gains an advantage. Accomplishments are achieved by adherence to principles of truth – whether you understand them or not. The better I can learn to understand the truths that have lead me to success (or failure) the better I can make informed decisions in the future.

And I’m convinced that in order to accomplish this goal I need friends. If I rely only on myself, it’s like looking at the universe through a soda-straw – it’s impossible to see the complete picture. It’s through talking with others and trying to understand their point of view that helps me to better understand how I can improve.

I really like these words on how to find and understand truth http://speeches.byu.edu/?act=viewitem&id=2097

Why am I writing? – Thoughts on marketing.

I think that the primary reason I write is because I love the excitement and adventure of discovering / creating a whole new world and sharing that world with others. Each new person that opens up “my” world, and begins to explore there, discovers something new that I didn’t see before. Sometimes what they see is something that neither of us enjoys: a grammatical error, a difficult transition, an awkward phrase, or worse yet a bad plot twist or story line. Sometimes they see something wonderful. Either way, it’s been exciting and fun to see the story come together and improve.

Now that it’s published even more people can read and explore this new world, that’s no longer just mine.

I think the thing that made Harry Potter more than just a book was the fans.  The story was strong enough and integrated tightly enough that readers could enjoy sharing not just what was written on paper but all of their own ideas and discoveries associated with it. So little of any story can be put into print and language so difficult to use that it’s really all of the imagination and creativity that it sparks that is so much more important. – That’s what I want my writing to be like.

I still have so much to learn with respect to language that I worry, sometimes, about how much I get in the way of others loving “my” story as much as they can. That’s why I’m so grateful for all the feedback that I can get, whether it’s on things I’m doing well or things that could be done better. I think that’s also why I’ve decided not to be as worried about marketing. Because once a story is worth sharing, marketing happens naturally.

Decisions on voice: is 3rd person too distant?

In starting Discipulus Secretus, I had to make some structural decisions. One of those decisions was to write in 3rd person. Before starting to write I did some research, and found American publishers in strong opposition. It looked like their primary concern was that it was too easy for the novice to get lazy and say something impersonal and detached, like "she was angry," instead of something more engaging, like "she stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her."

Being a bit of a rebel, and figuring that I am more likely to learn by trying, I decided to take this as dare (American publishers saying, "I dare you to write in 3rd person," and me in return, "I accept your challenge").

It seemed a safe enough challenge since so many of the great literary works are written in 3rd person and because it offers so much more flexibility and power. It also seemed a good fit with this conspiracy novel. I personally like how in the first/prologue chapter we can get a more personal view of Sarah's mother and John, her mentor, by seeing into both of their heads and knowing how they feel about each other.

But I still have so much to learn. Let me know what you think.